suddenly just thought abt sth my fren said to me just yst ba hmmm that my life is kinda filled with darkness.... hahah then that sentence back me back to then when another told me that even though we were frens fr so long hanging out tgt and stuff bt nvr really knw much abt me cos i dont open up to anyone as if thr was a wall thr in front stopping everything frm coming out wadever they knw were just the surface of wad i m... wad lies deep inside of me i also dunno or rather till nw no one has ever brought it out of me.... nvr talking abt it maybe no one really asked those qn or i have been avoiding ba.... i guess my ex knw that maybe that was why we break? cos i knw her inside out bt whenever she try stepping into my heart she was lock out too..... funny she was my gf then bt she was locked out of my heart whenever she try to knw me more than just me on the surface.... i really wish i could let her in really bt i dunno why it just shuts her out... it hurts me alot when she broke up with me although partially was cos she could nt let go her ex bt i guess i play a part too shutting her out of my heart i knw it hurted her even though she nvr tell me bt i can tell yet i didnt do anything abt it im a failure..... i thought showering her with lots of loves and attention will do it bt i guess its nt enough.... wad she really wan was someone who can let her be herself someone whom can nt only let her be happy bt someone who let her feels comfortable in his arms...... adeline... girl i miss you so bt i knw by letting you go you can be yourself you can be happy.... i will be happy too.. those happy times always bring a smile on my face whenever im down... thx fr showing me such a colorful life....

lmao kinda side tracking all ard....

hmm my darkness? i realise whenever i like someone so hard so much i wld decide to give up just like that cos i knw it was impossible or when she has someone she likes... i gave up instead just wishing as long as i can be by her side it is more than enough fr me bt knwing that.... still hurts alot inside.... im like trying to "kill" myself frm the inside.... sounds stupid i knw bt i guess this is just me..... hahah if i were given a chance i wld like to say i love you that girl right nw wadever ba.... as long as she is happy i will be happy too ba.....

somehw wadever shyt thr is or wadever darkness i have.. it will just be buried inside nvr to see light maybe just waiting fr someone to bring it out of me ba....

~walking along my darkness, its my life~

__________________________________
my darknesS my Light
-11:49 PM-