i havent been blogging fr damn long... dont knw why just wanna throw it here i also dunno why am i crying while typing this... i feel so alone i knw i have her bt somehw sometimes its as though i cant feel her thr by my side... i talking nonsense i knw i really dunno wads going on in my head... i knw i dun wanna lose her yet i dun wanna nag all those shyt to her.... i really dunno wads i s wad nw... i dun even understand myself i cant expect her to understand me.... damn it all i feel like shouting it all out bt i cant seem to do so.... damn damn damn damn.....

ps xiaogui dun tell her abt it ok

__________________________________
my darknesS my Light
-8:10 PM-

todae just realised one thing in my life todae ba.... its like suddenly when i wan to chat with someone i realise i gt no one to chat with.... i do have some frens bt we dun contact much at all its like once a yr or half a yr sth like that then chat over supper..... its like damn sian since sec sch i hardly hang out with my frens everydae after sch is str8 go hm cant even go out with them.... even if they ask me out my parents will lay rules restriction wadever on me to the extent my fren gave up calling me out cos i will like go out end up stay fr like 1hr go hm liao....... i totally like gt grounded end up having this loner personality in me..... whenever really got prob i end up throw punches on my cupboard or my pillow..... seriously dunno wad to do with it..... even till poly i still have that chain on me everytime curfew by 11 come hm or wadever even when i had a gf its still the same end up i had to always lie to them that i have project so i can stay out late overnight.... its nt like i wanna rebel against them its just damn sian you knw.... compared to my bro he has more freedom than me more life then me..... its like out of 10 times his frens ask him out that 10 times i will be hm rotting away...... somehw in ns life was better although alot shyt bt kept me occupied.... ask me gt a gf? lmao impossible i spent too much time at hm even if i go out i gt sian easily maybe cos use to being grounded at hm DAMN DAMN DAMN long.... even back then i had a gf i end up going out with her too much maybe cos i really hate staying at hm and i tot finally life will chng bt end up cosing one of the reason why relationship to die damn fast..... this 1 mth after ord frm ns seriously life is damn sian..... cant really think of anyone to call chat or wadever cos either too bz have other commitments or feel weird tryig to call them..... suan le ba this loner life its like drilled into me..... i knw excuses lame wadever.....

__________________________________
my darknesS my Light
-6:06 PM-

lmao damn damn damn damn long nvr post le hahah cos nth to post -.- anyways just gt my uni reply le im offered a seat at smi bt i maybe dropping it cos of some finiacial difficulties ba means i will be enrolling fr nxt yr jan intake haiz sian dao bu de liao nw looking fr part time job till then sad man damn sad oh well off to sianz one corner liao zzzz ciaoz

__________________________________
my darknesS my Light
-12:16 PM-

haha dae before went out with poly frens fr dinner over at youth park cos one of them just came back fr overseas so wanna meet up after so long haha
lmao had botak jons -.- damn filling after that went over to cine play l4d wtf man james like play l4d everydae whr to go wad to siam he also knw -.- zzzzz hes like a walking cheat
hmmm other then that nth much ba lazing ard playing mmorpg msn calling and chatting with fren on phone seriously my life is dead -.- damn wadever i go out gt lunch ciaoz~

__________________________________
my darknesS my Light
-1:39 PM-

BORING -.- have been rotting at hm since ord nw waiting fr application results and part time jobs seriously nth to do nw -.- sianz sianz sianz reading manga watching movie animes rotting ard lying on my bed sianz lah -.- ......... wadever i go slp liao ciaoz~

__________________________________
my darknesS my Light
-10:28 AM-

haha tml going back camp liao finally my off and leave spam finish -.- hmmm then this thurs going back to the dental clinic at AH to remove my stitches... hmmm wonder if i spelled it correct o.o last thurs just went over to frens bdae bbq at costal sand it was crazy lmao we had a blast great chalet dude ~ first night nth much ba just me and 3 other hunters farm on our psp until we zombie mode -.- frm like 11+ till nxt day 7+ 8 morning madness -.- then we went to knockout then cont' in the afternn agn hahah it was night then the real celebration begin it was really mad the bdae boy was made drunk and he shoot out alot shyt till we all listen until cannt tahan laughing really really enjoyed that night we even took video and pics hahah hmmm maybe ltr gt them frm my fren ba o.o

hmmm most likely im going part time job le ba uni application result nt here yet guess i will be going sim nxt yr ~ oh well till then work work work -.- wadever kk till here nxt time then ciaoz~ im bored -.-

__________________________________
my darknesS my Light
-10:22 PM-

sianz ~ ytd just went to pluck my 2nd wisdom tooth wah this one cfm can feel the pain -.- while the doctor was drilling thru my tooth i can feel the pain even though she alrdy had numb my feelings with the previous 3 jabs bt halfway she gave me another jab cos i said i could feel the sensitivity while the drilling was on-going zzz more sian de is this tooth plucked liao i cant open my mouth that wide cos this tooth was nearer to joints of my jaws so whenever i open too wide i can feel the pain plus i cant laugh if i laugh also pain -.-wah sians lah

wootz countdown 6 more daes to ord shiok lah~ finally can gt out of that place haha

sianz this few days d/l movie watch until sianz le wanna go out bt cant who to go out with sia -.- zzzz wadever lah i go rest le lah last night of my tooth keep bleeding whole night i cant slp wth kk ciaoz ~

__________________________________
my darknesS my Light
-1:44 PM-